i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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