did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
