don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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