Ambien. No doubt about it.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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