Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
