im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My life is pants optional.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
