I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
