Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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