They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
