It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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