She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
