But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
