Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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