im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
