What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
