Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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