I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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