It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She bit a glass in half.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
