You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
