nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
