So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
