And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
