What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
