when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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