I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
