Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
