i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
