I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
did i just pee glitter
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
