A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
