Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize