My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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