Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
