I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
