She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
