I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
