i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
