the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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