Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
