Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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