she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
