You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
