i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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