I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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