Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
