Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
is it fun? or sober?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize