went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Is it because I queefed?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
