some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
only you would photoshop your dick
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
