I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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