She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
