Tell her she can't have a vagina
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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