Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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