Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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