I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
