Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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