Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So many bounce houses so little time
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize