he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
