Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
