he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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