I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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