Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just found puke in my bra..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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