porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Mom said you looked used
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize