just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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