You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I could fuck to npr.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
